The strongest of the saints can allow terror to strike their heart. It occurs from the strangest of experiences and leads to despondency. When a man, a friend, said he had experienced depression, and he found it hard that some Christians can make light, and even utter rash statements… he quietly said, “they do not know what they are talking about. I have hit bottom, and have been unable to get out of despondency though I read the Word, prayed, along with some other antics to rise above it for months.”
He related how there were moments when he thought about taking his life, even though his business was doing fine. His wife remained loyal and patient, and became the staying force as the battle ensued.
The Godly David hit bottom according to 1 Samuel 27. He had lost his ability to rise above the constant assaults of Saul. We read in 1 Samuel 27: 1, “Then David said to himself, ‘Now I will perish one day by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than to escape into the land of the Philistines. Saul then will despair of searching for me anymore in all the territory of Israel and I will escape from his hand’.”
Some parts of David’s brain were functioning quite clearly, as he thought! He left, taking 600 men, crossed over to Gath, and all of them evidently were quite comfortable with their wives joining them. Then we read, just as David thought; Saul no longer searched for him. Despondency is usually accompanied with all types of ideas, some good, and some “good for nothing”!
During those sixteen months he felt that he could not “be himself” and ended up attacking other groups. His actions were to “leave non alive”, lest they should relate his activities to the folk at Gath. Gradually information leaked out and then no one trusted him. Oh the pitfalls when one “hits bottom”. When he should have been leaning on the Lord, he was allowing his tortured mind to reach out in a manipulative manner.
When we go through the pond of despair, it is not the time that we think clearly. In fact we are probably at our weakest and make the worst decisions. Fortunately, we live in an era where professionals can help us meander through such situations.
I make the suggestion of learning to lean on Jesus. Whether you recognize what is happening or not, Read the Scriptures! (In particular the Psalms) Pray! Do not try to be sophisticated; just talk heart to heart with God. Do not try to manipulate your thinking or HIS! He is preparing you for, as yet, something that is beyond your imagination. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes. Wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)